Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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