I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
