Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
