Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
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you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
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We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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