Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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