thus making me awesome and them whores
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
