I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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