Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
