You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
