OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize