and you said cock pushups were impossible
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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