I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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