Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
