Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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