Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
