Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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