I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
