how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
