i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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