did you get engaged???
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
