this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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