I feel like abortions should bother me more
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
