She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize