Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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