you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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