The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
