What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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