do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
