Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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