I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So apparently I’m into choking now
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize