I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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