Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's official drugs can't kill me
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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