I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
