the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
