i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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