Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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