i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
