You're so nebulous sometimes
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
