Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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