no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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