you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I haven't been this sober since birth.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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