I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize