I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.