Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
