Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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