I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
