you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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