From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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