I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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