i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
