I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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