What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
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Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
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Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.