Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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