This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
