party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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