If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I am spending my child support on dildos
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
