Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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