Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
