Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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