I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
