My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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