I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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