is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
